Fear is something that everyone will experience in this life. Sometimes it will be trifling and easier to overcome, but other times it can be very weighty. For example, I am extremely afraid of bees. Now, I know I have no real reason to be afraid of them, the only reason why they would even try to hurt me would be because they feel they are in danger. Nevertheless, if I ever see a bee near me, I brace myself for it's sting. You see, there are things like this that are small and we aren't completely terrified by. But then there are also bigger things that hold greater magnitude. These can be things like choosing a major in college, choosing a career, where you want to live, and knowing when it's time to quit something and move on with your life. Decisions like these can be scary to make. There are other times when we fear something that is totally out of our control.
Once, when I was about five years old, my family and I went to my cousin's house. We always got excited when we went to their house; they lived in LA, so we got to drive through a bigger city and they had a big house with lots of fun things to do. My older sister, Sophie and I were playing on a teeter totter in the backyard. We were having a great time until Sophie decided that she had had enough of it, so she abruptly stood up and got off. My side of the teeter totter went down quickly and I went right along with it. I had fallen backwards and had hit my head on some bricks behind me. There was blood everywhere and I'm sure I was screaming. I remember being so scared and clutching onto my mom as we rushed off to the emergency room. My parents were probably praying the entire time. Despite my fear, I had only gotten a sizable gash on my head and I was completely fine after a couple staples. All through the scriptures, we are taught that if we trust the Lord in times of distress, he will guide and protect us and that everything will be okay in the end. David didn't need to know Goliath's strength because he already knew God's. (1 Samuel 17) Esther needed no appointment with the king because her appointment had been made by a Father in Heaven to soften the king's heart in that moment to spare the Jews. (Esther 5) Alma did not need to be afraid of the Lamanites because the Lord delivered them according to their regained faith. (Mosiah 23:27-28, 24:13-14) We are taught through these many stories in the scriptures to live by faith, not by fear. This does not mean that we will not have any trials in our lives and that everything will run smoothly, but that Heavenly Father will help guide and protect us in our trials. I am so blessed to have the knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that if we turn to Heavenly Father, He will guide and protect us. I know that even when answers to prayers do not come immediately, He is still listening to our pleas. The Lord works in His own timetable, not ours. I know that at times life is frustrustrating and circumstances are sometimes disheartening. It may even seem that there is nowhere to turn. But I know there is always a way to turn that will bring us peace and security. If we trust in Heavenly Father, he will guide and protect us.
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Have you ever been hungry? I don't mean like you skipped breakfast and needed a snack an hour before lunch time. I mean more along the lines of you forgot breakfast, had no time for lunch and you don't have time for dinner until around eight o'clock. Now, I want you to recall what it was you thought of most in those times of hunger. I know, for me at least, all I could think about was finding a way to get food. I have found that this is very similar to reading the scriptures. Some days, I forget or don't have enough time for personal scripture study. On days like these, when I do not study my scriptures, I feel a little more empty than usual. Just like I would long for food when I have not eaten, my heart pines for me to read my scriptures even of it's just a little. Not only do the scriptures fill me spiritually, but they help remind me of what path I should be on and how to overcome my own trials by likening them to the hardships of those in the scriptures. I have not always found refuge in the scriptures, before I started high school and seminary, I rarely ever picked up my scriptures and read them. I found it very hard to read and understand them. Soon after I started going to seminary, I fell in love with taking notes and writing my thoughts in the margins of my scriptures. I am absolutely obsessed with annotating anything and everything I read. It really helps me understand what was going on in the stories and connect them to gospel principles that relate. For Christmas one year, I received a wide-margined Book of Mormon. It is one of my favorite gifts I have ever gotten. For some people, reading the scriptures is hard, but I think we need to just find a way of making it interesting for us. The scriptures are an essential component of the plan of Happiness. They contain the word of God and help guide us in our goal to return to live with God again. Latter-day prophets counsel us to study the scriptures every day because they know of the peace and joy it brings into our lives. Studying the scriptures can help us come to know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ better, give us power to resist temptation, and strengthen us in our challenges. In order to get the most out of our scriptures, we must get the most out of them that we possibly can. Again, we can relate this to food (because who am I kidding, food is always on my mind). Let's say you go to your favorite restaurant and you order your favorite thing on the menu. After what seems like hours, your food arrives and you waste no time in daintily picking at it with your fork. No, if you're anything like me, you dig right in and finish the whole plate, leaving nothing on the plate when you're done. You eat until every bit of food is gone. Should this not be the same during scripture study? Surely the scriptures hold way more sustenance than any meal we could possibly eat. In that case, when we feast upon the words of past prophets, we find that are hearts are filled with the spirit; a fullness that cannot be felt in any other way. I think the scriptures are one of the greatest gifts that we have received from our Heavenly Father. It is a timeless guide for not only for those that came before us, but for everyone that will come after. The scriptures have blessed my life so much. I am so grateful for the ability to study the lives of past prophets, seers and revelators. I bear you my testimony that I know the scriptures are true and that they will bless our lives and bring us closer to the Savior and Heavenly Father.
On the very first day of my freshman year I was assigned an essay, meant to help the teacher come to know his students better. He explained that the only requirement would be to answer the prompt and explain what we wrote. The only prompt I was given was a three word question; Who are you? This seemingly simple question really stumped me. How on earth was I supposed to sum up my life in a few paragraphs? I didn't think I could even do that in a couple novels. I don't remember what I wrote then and still think about that experience, wondering what I would write if that question were to once again confront me. I think the first thing I would write would be that I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father. My faith has played a huge role in my life for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was around the age of five or so, I can remember going to church and learning about God and how much he loves us. I love that despite my imperfections, my Father in Heaven's love is unconditional. We live in this world where love is tentative. One moment someone could love you, but then the next they could be a complete stranger. In this ever changing world, I am grateful for my Father in Heaven; my constant who will always be around to love us. The next thing I would write today, would be that I am an artist. And to a certain extent, we all are. Nowadays, people say that in order to be an artist, critics have to like your work. That, my friend is a bunch of hogwash. I don't think someone's art can be critiqued based on what a single person sees. What I have learned from the ceramics class I am taking this year, is that art can be interpreted in a million different ways. An art piece that may make one person happy could make another person feel sad. Take the "Starry Night" painting by Vincent Van Gogh. I asked two people what they thought of the painting. The first person said that it made them feel sad, but that the yellow circles gave it a sense of hope. The second said that it made them apprehensive toward the vastness of the sky. That is what I love about art; it is the same visually to everyone, but it evokes different feelings from person to person. So, if you feel like shying away from creating anything as a result of one person's opinion, just remember that one man's trash is another man's treasure. I would be terribly mistaken if I didn't address that a big part of who I am today is made up of the people and things I have grown up around. I believe that a big part of who we are includes how we are affected by others. Rumi once said, "You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop." I could not have said it better. We go out into the world and are influenced by so many different things. Everything gets mixed around and we absorb the world around us. I could go on and on about who I am, but my point is that we define ourselves. We are not what others think of us, we are not our social status, or the number of likes we get on instagram or even our weight. We are worth more than numbers on a scale, more than the price tags on your clothes, more than the letters on your report card, more than a number of likes. We are not what others think and say about us. In the eyes of God, you are worth so much more than you can comprehend.
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My name is Ellie. I am a sophomore at BYU Idaho. I am excited to live life and to share a small piece of it with you!
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