Over the past week or so, I have been reflecting on a lot of different things. I’m graduating this Thursday and I still can’t believe it. I feel like graduation has always been something that was so far away. It is just so weird to know that I’m not going to be in high school anymore. And though I know that the time has come to move on to bigger and better things, I am going to miss it a little. I can never really say that I loved high school, but I’ve made some great memories and even greater relationships.
In the end, I think high school was not as big of a that I thought it would be when I was in eighth grade. I thought high school was going to change me somehow. But it wasn’t high school that changed me. I did change a ton (thank goodness), but I don’t think that was because of the actual school part of high school. I think it was the experiences I had and the people I met while I was in high school. I graduated seminary a week ago. I feel like I was sitting in my freshman seminary class just yesterday. I can’t tell you just how much I loved seminary. Those 5:30 alarms will not be missed but I will definitely miss getting to study the scriptures with my homies every morning. I am so grateful for all my seminary teachers that made me fall in love with studying my scriptures. There is nothing better than starting the day off reading the scriptures. Seminary has helped me grow my testimony and has taught me that the atonement is the most amazing gift anyone could ever receive. One really important thing I’ve come to know through the past four years is that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I am beyond grateful for that knowledge. Especially since I am about to go off to college in the fall. I feel like there are these amazing moments in life when you realize why you have a specific trial, whether it was yesterday or a year ago. Whenever I have obstacles in my way, I look back on the harder things I’ve done in the past and those obstacles don’t seem as intimidating anymore. I know now that sometimes Heavenly Father works through other people and I am so grateful for all those people who have helped me get to where I am today. I am so humbled by all the people who have supported me these past couple years. I would not have made it this far without them. Everyone from the fam bam to friends to teachers, I can not express how thankful I am. I have the most amazing friends who are always willing to help me when I need it. When I was in middle school, I had a lot of acquaintances, but I didn’t know what it was like to have real friends. High school has taught me that anyone can be a friend and to never count someone out until you really know them. I learned to see people as Heavenly Father would and to love those even when it may not be easy. I learned that when you’re happy and positive, you’ll find friends that are positive too. I will never forget the relationships I’ve made over the past four years. I am going to miss hanging out with my homies at lunch. I’m going to miss knowing so many people that I have to stop a million times in the halls to catch up with my homies. I feel like it is going to be so weird at BYUI because there are going to be 45,000 students to SCHS’ measly 3,000. But that’s okay because it will give me an opportunity to meet so many more people. While it may be a little intimidating to not know many people at my school next year, I think it will be fun to start fresh. I have the whole summer to get ready to go up to school, so I am not really worried at the moment. I think another reason why I’m not super worried right now is because Heavenly Father has taught me that if I listen to the spirit and trust in him, everything will be just fine. I think it was key for me to learn that through my past experiences in order for me to be confident that with my Heavenly Father’s help, there is nothing that will ever be too much for me to handle. I know that going up to school this September is going to be a challenge, but I also know that this is what Heavenly Father wants me to do, He is going to be with me and guide me every step of the way if I let Him. If there’s anything I know for absolute certain, it is that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and that He is going to prepare a way for me to accomplish those things he has planned for me. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Nephi 3:7 because it helps remind me that Heavenly Father will never give us more than we can handle.
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Between me and all of the things that were out to hurt or scare me, you were the levy. Mom. No other name brings me so much comfort. You’re always the one there to calm me down when I am worried, I don’t know how or why because she always has so many other things to do.
Mom, You’re the one who stayed up all night just to get me to settle down. You’re the one who took me to school and always rooted for me to succeed. You’re the one who always spoke truth, even though at times, you were barely listened to. The one who gave me everything I could ever need. The one who has the hardest job, not seeking any reward or praise. There have been times when we were often in a disagreement of sorts until I realized how right you usually were (actually all the time). You are the one who sings “Let Us Oft Speak Kind Words” as loud as you could whenever there is contention, even though you aren’t a singer. And though we all roll our eyes when we hear those words, I secretly love you for it. You cook even though you’re not a chef (but we all know if you wanted to be, you totally could). You helped with homework that you sometimes didn’t understand. And you made magic every day. Without a wand, spells, or fairy dust. You are always filled with so much love. The kind of love that makes a home. That makes a bed. Makes the best food on earth. And always makes time for me. That love is something I’ll never understand, never deserve and never quite be able to reimburse you for. I am eternally in your debt. You were the one who always helped me my sand castle bigger, while yours was still a mere inches from the ground. They say no one is beyond comparison, but I have yet to find someone that can justly be compared to my mom. Because you are without a doubt the best. My mom is a superhero and she has the compassion to prove it. Now I want to take a moment to appreciate all the other moms out there, regardless of whether you have children of your own or not. I know so many amazing women who don’t have their own kids that have had a profound motherly affect on my life. I am so grateful for these women who are such wonderful examples to me and my sisters. And to my Momma, I am so grateful for your love and patience that I sometimes don’t even deserve. I love you and I can’t imagine life without you. Thank you for being a example for me and my sisters. I love you so much. Boy, it’s crazy what can change in a year! I can honestly say that this school year has been exponentially better than last year. I was reading some of my journal entries from last year around this time and I’ve realized how crazy and stressful my life was. Not that there was anything too crazy going on, but I just worried so much about the littlest things. As I read through those journals, I began to think about how much better my life would have been if my circumstances and the way I made decisions were different. It’s like when you look at pictures from when you were a kid and you cringe a little because your clothes never matched and your hair was always a mess(an ongoing struggle for me).
But at the same time I feel like it’s those times where you wish you could have changed your circumstances, that you really learn to grow. One scripture that I’ve grown to love is 1 Corinthians 7:20-24. It says, “Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God” I know it is a little long, but it has become one of my favorites over the past year or so. It helps me remember that Heavenly Father only lets us give us trials that He knows we can learn and grow from and that He wants us to make the most of our lives despite our trials. Whenever I read this scripture, the phrase, “bloom where you’re planted” always comes to mind. As a little kid, my favorite flower were the yellow dandelions that seemed to pop up everywhere and anywhere. My mom would always laugh and tell me that they were just weeds. But I didn’t just like them because I thought they were pretty, no I liked them because they seemed to spring up everywhere. No matter where, they would even grow from the cracks in the sidewalk. I think that scripture is kind of saying the same thing applies to us. It’s like Heavenly Father puts us in these crazy, sometimes a little rough situations because He wants us to learn and grow because of it. I used to think that Heavenly Father would put us in tough situations because we weren’t doing the right thing. That is never the case. Of course there are consequences when we sin, but Heavenly Father doesn’t give us more trials because we sin. When I was little, I was taught by my parents and primary teachers that we can pray whenever we want to and that Heavenly Father will listen. I am so grateful for those who have helped me make prayer such a huge part of my life. I know it can be hard to focus on the gospel amidst trials, but I also know that it is the best way to get answers from Heavenly Father. I don’t think I fully understood the power prayer can have until about two years ago. There was a girl from my school that started coming to church with one of the girls in my ward. I can still remember so clearly how strongly I felt the spirit when she was being taught how to pray. At first I was shocked because I realized that this girl didn’t know how to pray up until that point. It was a really spiritual experience and it taught me to be grateful for the ability to be able to talk to my Heavenly Father whenever I need to. I know that Heavenly Father loves us and that we are given trials that He knows we can learn from. I also know that sometimes it can be hard to stay close to Heavenly Father when you’re busy worrying about everything that may seem to be going wrong in your life right now. I urge you to pray about anything even if you think it is not that big of a deal. Remember if something seems like a big deal to you, Heavenly Father cares about everything that you care about. |
My name is Ellie. I am a sophomore at BYU Idaho. I am excited to live life and to share a small piece of it with you!
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