HELLO WORLD! I feel like I haven't posted in awhile. I mean my last post was almost two weeks ago but I’ve just done so much since then that it just seems like forever. So let me just catch you up real quick. First and foremost, I graduated! It was an amazing experience but at the same time it was also super weird. The whole thing just felt so surreal because I had been looking forward to graduating for such a long time that I began to feel like it would never come. It was crazy. I was a little worried that the cap wasn’t going to fit on my head (because of my hair haha) but it did! I got to sit next to some of my homies and it was so rad. I’m so glad that I got to spend that day with my friends and the fam bam. Now rewind to almost a month ago (though it feels like yesterday), I went to prom with all my homies. I’m pretty sure I had THE BEST date and to top it all off, it was at an aquarium! I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun at a school dance. Before the dance we took pictures at the beach. It was cool because my sister is pretty much a professional photographer and she took the pictures for us. Then we had a super fancy dinner at my friend’s grandma’s house because she is a pro cook. It was so rad. Our dinner group was small so it was easier to interact with people. We combined with another group and got on a party bus for the drive to the aquarium. Those buses are always super fun. The actual dance was cool because we got to dance with the fish at the aquarium! I think I might have had more fun looking at the fishes than dancing (and that means a lot because boy, do I love dancing)! I graduated from seminary a couple weeks ago and it was a bittersweet experience. I have loved getting to go to seminary every morning. I know I always complained about having to wake up super early, but it was so worth it. Seminary is probably the main reason why I have learned why it is so important to read scriptures every day. I’m grateful for all of my teachers over the past four years who have taught me the importance of scripture study.
I can honestly say that my senior year has been my favorite year of high school. When I wasn't thinking about how much I wanted to get out of that school, it was actually prett fun. I had the easiest class schedule I've ever had to date, which made it so much easier to hang out with people and not have to worry about homework. I was a lot more confident this year and said yes to doing more things with people. I became way more open to hanging out with people I wouldn't normally hang out with. It was just a really fun year. Since school is over, I’ve been able to take it easy. I’m staying home for the summer because I don’t go up to Idaho until September. I’m really grateful that I get to have the summer to relax and hopefully get a job before school starts. But at the same time, I can’t wait to get up there and have the chance to be independant, meet new people and have new experiences. In the meantime, I’ve been doing a lot of drawing and painting, which is always rad. I’ve also started on a new project for the summer (not related to the art) but it’s not yet ready to be shared, but I’ll be sure to update you when I know what I’m actually doing. In other news, I’ve been listening to a bunch of Disney music lately. Soph and I went to Disneyland the other day and saw the World of Color show. Let’s just say it brought beck a lot of childhood memories (we may or may not have cried). For those who don’t know, World of Color is a show where they project a bunch of movie scenes onto a screen of mist. My explanation doesn’t do it justice. But it is magical. It was the perfect thing to end my childhood with. So I just thought I’d give you an update on life. Nothing too fancy today. But stay tuned for updates on my new projects!
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Over the past week or so, I have been reflecting on a lot of different things. I’m graduating this Thursday and I still can’t believe it. I feel like graduation has always been something that was so far away. It is just so weird to know that I’m not going to be in high school anymore. And though I know that the time has come to move on to bigger and better things, I am going to miss it a little. I can never really say that I loved high school, but I’ve made some great memories and even greater relationships.
In the end, I think high school was not as big of a that I thought it would be when I was in eighth grade. I thought high school was going to change me somehow. But it wasn’t high school that changed me. I did change a ton (thank goodness), but I don’t think that was because of the actual school part of high school. I think it was the experiences I had and the people I met while I was in high school. I graduated seminary a week ago. I feel like I was sitting in my freshman seminary class just yesterday. I can’t tell you just how much I loved seminary. Those 5:30 alarms will not be missed but I will definitely miss getting to study the scriptures with my homies every morning. I am so grateful for all my seminary teachers that made me fall in love with studying my scriptures. There is nothing better than starting the day off reading the scriptures. Seminary has helped me grow my testimony and has taught me that the atonement is the most amazing gift anyone could ever receive. One really important thing I’ve come to know through the past four years is that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I am beyond grateful for that knowledge. Especially since I am about to go off to college in the fall. I feel like there are these amazing moments in life when you realize why you have a specific trial, whether it was yesterday or a year ago. Whenever I have obstacles in my way, I look back on the harder things I’ve done in the past and those obstacles don’t seem as intimidating anymore. I know now that sometimes Heavenly Father works through other people and I am so grateful for all those people who have helped me get to where I am today. I am so humbled by all the people who have supported me these past couple years. I would not have made it this far without them. Everyone from the fam bam to friends to teachers, I can not express how thankful I am. I have the most amazing friends who are always willing to help me when I need it. When I was in middle school, I had a lot of acquaintances, but I didn’t know what it was like to have real friends. High school has taught me that anyone can be a friend and to never count someone out until you really know them. I learned to see people as Heavenly Father would and to love those even when it may not be easy. I learned that when you’re happy and positive, you’ll find friends that are positive too. I will never forget the relationships I’ve made over the past four years. I am going to miss hanging out with my homies at lunch. I’m going to miss knowing so many people that I have to stop a million times in the halls to catch up with my homies. I feel like it is going to be so weird at BYUI because there are going to be 45,000 students to SCHS’ measly 3,000. But that’s okay because it will give me an opportunity to meet so many more people. While it may be a little intimidating to not know many people at my school next year, I think it will be fun to start fresh. I have the whole summer to get ready to go up to school, so I am not really worried at the moment. I think another reason why I’m not super worried right now is because Heavenly Father has taught me that if I listen to the spirit and trust in him, everything will be just fine. I think it was key for me to learn that through my past experiences in order for me to be confident that with my Heavenly Father’s help, there is nothing that will ever be too much for me to handle. I know that going up to school this September is going to be a challenge, but I also know that this is what Heavenly Father wants me to do, He is going to be with me and guide me every step of the way if I let Him. If there’s anything I know for absolute certain, it is that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and that He is going to prepare a way for me to accomplish those things he has planned for me. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Nephi 3:7 because it helps remind me that Heavenly Father will never give us more than we can handle. Over the past month or so, I have been becoming increasingly anxious about moving up to school and living over nine hundred miles away from home. Not to the point where I have panic attacks, but every once an a while I'll start thinking about it and wonder how the heck I am supposed to do it. The school year is almost over and preparations are being made for the coming year. At first I was super excited to live on my own and be independant, but as I actually started thinking about all of the things that I am going to have to take care of for myself, I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified.
I was talking to someone the other day about going to school and after talking about it for a little while and she stopped me and asked me, “What if you can’t?”. At first, I was a little confused -- what if I can’t what? Up until this point, I had figured that everyone was wondering how I was going to pull off living on my own. And at the moment, I don’t even know how I am going to be able to not rely on anyone. But I have prayed about it a ton and I know that my future is in the hands of my Heavenly Father. For as long as I can remember, everyone has encouraged me to become more independant. Literally everyone from teachers, to physical therapists, to my family. Personally I think I have come a long way and that being independent is great. But I think people often confuse independance with not relying on Heavenly Father’s guidance. When you want to become more independent, I think, at least for me, I have to become closer and more trusting in my Heavenly Father. When the time came for applying for college, I was hesitant to apply to anywhere. I had always assumed that I would go to the community college in the area and live with the fam bam. But then one day my sister suggested to apply to the CES schools and see if I get in. She said that I didn’t even have to decide right then and there if I was going to really go, but to apply anyways so I could keep my options open. So I started my application process. I began filling out my information and writing my essays. There was a pretty long time for me to work on my application process, but I got started on it right away. After writing a couple of the essays, I stopped working on them because I got a little discouraged about being able to get in and even if I did get in, it was overwhelming to think about actually going to school there. As time went on, the application deadline got closer and I had abandoned the idea of going to any of the church schools. About a month later, I remember coming home from school one day and seeing one of the CES endorsement forms on the end of my bookshelf. I immediately started to question if I really wanted to go to a community college. I remember feeling like if I didn’t finish the application, I would be missing out on the opportunities that I wouldn’t be able to have anywhere else. So, I finished my application, telling myself that I would apply and see how it goes from there. I remember on the day I finished it, I felt this unmistakable feeling of peace. I wasn’t sure where it came from at the time, but now I know that it was Heavenly Father reassuring me that if I did get in, He would help me know what to do. One Thursday morning, before seminary, I woke up and saw a notification e-mail from the CES admissions office. I was so scared to open it. But when I opened it and read the email saying that I had gotten in to BYUI, I screamed and cried a little (happy tears). Because for the majority of high school, I had been geared by teachers to shoot only for community college. Not that those teachers didn’t want me to go to a four-year, but because most of the kids with disabilities at my school usually don’t even apply to four year colleges. I had been told over and over that I could just go to community college because that’s what everyone had been expecting me to do. I think everyone thought it was a little odd that I was so excited. But to me it was a big deal because I had always just assumed that I would go to a community college. I am super excited to start this new chapter and I know that this is right for me. I want to remind you that you don’t have to know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life at this second. You have a whole lifetime to think about that. What you do need to know as soon as possible is that Heavenly Father loves you and has a plan for you and that He is going to guide you. As long as you look to Him for guidance, everything will work out. Even if you don’t know exactly how right now. |
My name is Ellie. I am a sophomore at BYU Idaho. I am excited to live life and to share a small piece of it with you!
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