A couple weeks ago, I was jammin’ in the car with Sophie at a stoplight. One thing you need to know about Sophie in order to catch what I’m throwing at you is that Soph likes to jam in the car with the volume way up. Whenever Soph is driving, there is a lot of dancing in the car (car dancing is my favorite sport ;). And it can look wierd to other people when the windows are up and they can’t hear the music. People might think we are crazy (and we kinda are), but because they can’t hear like we can, it is confusing to them.
I have a bunch of friends that don’t know much about what I believe, so when I do things and make decisions based on my faith in the gospel, they don’t understand. There was a kid in one of my classes last year that knew I was a member of the church and he would always ask me questions about my faith and the church and he was always really respectful about it. When he learned about how we went to church for three hours instead of one on Sundays and that we fasted and gave tithes once a month, he was confused as to why people were willing to do such things. I did my best to explain that we do these things because we want it to become closer to our Savior and our Heavenly Father. He proceeded to ask what we got out of it, so I explained to him that we make these small sacrifices because in return, we get blessings from Heavenly Father. After talking to him for a couple more minutes, I could see that he wasn’t exactly getting it. So I explained that I have received so many blessings for going to church and paying tithing. He asked me if I thought that the blessings I received were worth the things I did for God. I responded that they were and told him that the blessings well outweighed the sacrifices I make. Just as people don’t understand why we dance when they can’t hear our music, they don’t understand why we keep the commandments and make sacrifices for our faith because they haven’t felt the spirit and recieved the blessings that we have. But the best part about it is that we can help teach them and we will be able to help them come to be familiar with feeling the spirit. In the beginning, the dance may be a little awkward, but as we become familiar with the teachings of the gospel, it will become second nature. Last year in seminary, we had a girl start coming that wasn’t yet a member of the church. You could tell that in the beginning she was a little uncomfortable, but as she learned to recognize the spirit, she grew to know the spirit so well. I can tell you that some of the coolest experiences have happened when I am around people who are learning about the gospel. A couple years ago I got to watch one of my friends start coming to church. It was really cool to watch as she learned more about the gospel. I’ll never forget when I got to be in the room when she said her very first prayer. You could tell it was a little awkward for her to be talking to Heavenly Father for the first time in front of a bunch of people. But He doesn’t care if it’s awkward, Heavenly Father is always happy when you choose to talk to him. I felt so blessed to be there and get to see this person change and grow so much. I’m so grateful for all of the opportunities I’ve had to share testimony with people. I know that the more you share your testimony, not only does it help other people’s grow, it helps yours grow too. If you listen to the spirit, you will know what to say to others. Remember they may feel awkward at first, but eventually it will become second nature. You just have to go for it!
0 Comments
Over the past month or so, I have been becoming increasingly anxious about moving up to school and living over nine hundred miles away from home. Not to the point where I have panic attacks, but every once an a while I'll start thinking about it and wonder how the heck I am supposed to do it. The school year is almost over and preparations are being made for the coming year. At first I was super excited to live on my own and be independant, but as I actually started thinking about all of the things that I am going to have to take care of for myself, I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified.
I was talking to someone the other day about going to school and after talking about it for a little while and she stopped me and asked me, “What if you can’t?”. At first, I was a little confused -- what if I can’t what? Up until this point, I had figured that everyone was wondering how I was going to pull off living on my own. And at the moment, I don’t even know how I am going to be able to not rely on anyone. But I have prayed about it a ton and I know that my future is in the hands of my Heavenly Father. For as long as I can remember, everyone has encouraged me to become more independant. Literally everyone from teachers, to physical therapists, to my family. Personally I think I have come a long way and that being independent is great. But I think people often confuse independance with not relying on Heavenly Father’s guidance. When you want to become more independent, I think, at least for me, I have to become closer and more trusting in my Heavenly Father. When the time came for applying for college, I was hesitant to apply to anywhere. I had always assumed that I would go to the community college in the area and live with the fam bam. But then one day my sister suggested to apply to the CES schools and see if I get in. She said that I didn’t even have to decide right then and there if I was going to really go, but to apply anyways so I could keep my options open. So I started my application process. I began filling out my information and writing my essays. There was a pretty long time for me to work on my application process, but I got started on it right away. After writing a couple of the essays, I stopped working on them because I got a little discouraged about being able to get in and even if I did get in, it was overwhelming to think about actually going to school there. As time went on, the application deadline got closer and I had abandoned the idea of going to any of the church schools. About a month later, I remember coming home from school one day and seeing one of the CES endorsement forms on the end of my bookshelf. I immediately started to question if I really wanted to go to a community college. I remember feeling like if I didn’t finish the application, I would be missing out on the opportunities that I wouldn’t be able to have anywhere else. So, I finished my application, telling myself that I would apply and see how it goes from there. I remember on the day I finished it, I felt this unmistakable feeling of peace. I wasn’t sure where it came from at the time, but now I know that it was Heavenly Father reassuring me that if I did get in, He would help me know what to do. One Thursday morning, before seminary, I woke up and saw a notification e-mail from the CES admissions office. I was so scared to open it. But when I opened it and read the email saying that I had gotten in to BYUI, I screamed and cried a little (happy tears). Because for the majority of high school, I had been geared by teachers to shoot only for community college. Not that those teachers didn’t want me to go to a four-year, but because most of the kids with disabilities at my school usually don’t even apply to four year colleges. I had been told over and over that I could just go to community college because that’s what everyone had been expecting me to do. I think everyone thought it was a little odd that I was so excited. But to me it was a big deal because I had always just assumed that I would go to a community college. I am super excited to start this new chapter and I know that this is right for me. I want to remind you that you don’t have to know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life at this second. You have a whole lifetime to think about that. What you do need to know as soon as possible is that Heavenly Father loves you and has a plan for you and that He is going to guide you. As long as you look to Him for guidance, everything will work out. Even if you don’t know exactly how right now. The other day, I was reading something about a girl who had stopped going to church because she felt like she wasn’t “good” enough. The story went into detail about why she felt that way, she had made some mistakes and was working on repenting. But in the meantime, she felt like she didn’t belong at church because of her mistakes. This is never the case for anyone, no matter the sin.
Something I have learned from making mistakes is that the best thing to do is repent sincerely and immediately. One of my favorite passages of scriptures is Alma 41:12-15. This is where Alma explains why it’s so important to repent now, not procrastinating until it’s too late. It’s why we don’t believe in deathbed repentance: You really have no opportunity to prove that you honestly have changed your spiritual clothes. Someone once told me about these parties that her friends would have called “come as you are” parties. Basically, they would invite people minutes before the party started and people would just come in whatever they were wearing at that moment. People would show up in weird clothes like pajamas, dirty art smocks and cooking aprons, they would show up with bare feet and crazy hair. And nobody cared, they didn’t criticize each other, they just accepted them no matter what they were wearing. Everyone got to see the human side of people that they usually saw polished up and formally presented. This person went on to tell me that when she was wearing something dirty or ratty around the house, her mom would ask, “what if someone invited you to a come as you are party right now?” She would then go change her clothes immediately. When I listened to her story, I thought of how we should always repent immediately. Because we never know when our time is coming, not that we should always be scared to die or anything. But our final breath can come as surprisingly as a phone call. And we’ll be judged on what we were wearing, spiritually speaking, when we pass away. I know someone that has always told people that he does what he wants in the moment and that he’ll repent later. This is not what the atonement is for, it is not an excuse to commit sins and then say that you’ll repent later. Repentance is for getting better. It is okay to use it if you are being sincere, but if you intend to make the mistake, assuming that you can repent later, it defeats the purpose. It’s human nature to put things off, especially when the things you need to do are difficult or uncomfortable. Changing into our “Sunday best” means giving up grudges and bad habits that have become as comfortable as worn PJs. But do you really want that final phone call to come when you’re wearing a dirty oversized t-shirt, or when you’re clean and dressed in your best? When the time comes, there will be no last-minute scrambling to change into your best – it’s how you are right now that matters. I think the best part of life is experiencing hard things and then a little ways down the road, you look back on them. And it’s in those moments, you realize why Heavenly Father gave you that trial. Then when you really think about it, it makes sense why you needed to experience it. Maybe later, you’ll realize that you can help others because of it. Or maybe it was because in the future, having that knowledge of what it feels like to go through something like that can be used to encourage others. It could also help you have confidence that if you could do that, this is going to be breeze.
There have been so many times where I think that there is no way I would be able to do something. I can get really overwhelmed and I start to doubt myself. The best thing I have found most helpful in these situations is to take a step back and remind yourself that everything is going to be okay. Because there is nothing that Heavenly Father will give you that you can’t handle. We are never left alone to deal with our trials, we have our Savior who can succor us. Adversity can come from a number of things. You see, different kinds of adversity require different responses. For example, people who are stricken with illness may simply need to be patient and faithful. People who suffer because of others’ words or actions should work toward forgiving those who have offended them. If a person’s trials come because of disobedience, he or she should correct the behavior and humbly seek forgiveness. When you repent, the sin committed is no longer stopping you from becoming more like Christ. I think when we are experiencing something tough, we need to remember that it is part of Heavenly Father’s plan for us. We may not see it at the time, but when Heavenly Father gives us trials, it is because He loves us and wants us to grow stronger. Its also important to remember that He has a bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves. And while His plan isn’t always the same as ours, it is always better. When I was a freshman, I this picture of what I wanted my life to be like and looking back at what I thought I wanted, I was so off. Even now, I don’t really know exactly what I want to be. But I do know that if I trust in my Heavenly Father, He’ll help me know what I am supposed to do. If you are feeling uncertain as to whether you can endure your trials, just know that Heavenly Father will always prepare a way for you to accomplish whatever is put in your way. Remember that you are never alone. Try to recognize and be grateful for the people that Heavenly Father puts in your life to teach you things that you need to know. First of all, I can’t believe it has been a whole year! When I first started The Life in Progress, I figured that it would maybe last for a couple weeks and then I’d get bored of it. But now that it has been a whole year, I can’t imagine what I would do without it. I love everything about blogging. I love writing my posts. I love making headers and putting in quotes. I love sharing my testimony. There is nothing I don’t like about blogging.
I have always wanted a way to share my faith with people, but never felt really comfortable with talking to people about it. I mean I would talk to people about my faith sometimes, but I had trouble putting how I felt into words. Being able to sit myself down and really think about what I believe has not only helped me to share the gospel, but has helped me build my own testimony. You see, when I take a minute to think of what I believe, it becomes really clear what I know that I believe. All of these things that I testify of on this blog, are things that I have had invaluable experiences with. I know I am always up for a little advice, so I figured that maybe other people feel the same way. I’m not saying that my views and advice is for everyone, but even if it helps one person in some way, I’m happy. So much has changed since I wrote my very first blog post, never in a million years would I have guessed that I would experience all that I have. If you were to tell 16-year-old me that I was going to experience all the things I have this year, I probably would have said no way, José! I probably would have thought there was no possible way I could do a huge amount of what I have done this year. I have never been good at keeping a journal, so it has been really cool to be able to go back into my archives and see how much I’ve grown in the last year. I think the first three months of having my blog were probably some of the hardest, but looking back on my posts from those months, they remind me that I can do hard things and that there is nothing Heavenly Father will give me that I can’t handle. If I hadn’t ever started a blog, I probably wouldn’t even think about how much better my life has been since then. Having had this blog for a year has taught me not to be ashamed of certain things that I am not necessarily proud of. One of the biggest things that have fallen under this category is my CP. I don’t really talk about my disability with anyone but my mom and even then, I kind of beat around the bush. But on my blog, I can just write about it and it has been so cool to have had people ask me questions about it. I used to be so embarrassed about it that I would get super uncomfortable when people ever asked about it. But now, I think it’s really cool when people want to know more about my CP. I actually had one person tell me that because of one of my posts, they befriended someone with CP and it was super cool to hear about. It has no doubt been a long year filled with lots of different experiences. I still can’t believe it’s already been a year! Don’t worry, I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. In fact, I don’t plan on ever stopping. The other day, one of my readers emailed me and asked about starting her own blog. If you are ever thinking about starting a blog, do it for sure! Just know it takes a bit of work, but it is so worth it. I’m so grateful for the people that read my blog, you guys are awesome! |
My name is Ellie. I am a sophomore at BYU Idaho. I am excited to live life and to share a small piece of it with you!
Archives
May 2019
Categories
All
Links |